Discovering the tenderness, truth, and restoring love of Jesus towards those who are suffering.
The Real-Life Struggle
Have you ever been going through something difficult and found yourself wondering how Jesus feels about what you are experiencing?
Perhaps you have been carrying a disappointment that nobody else seems to understand.
Maybe something happened in your family that changed the way life looks, and although you have continued with your responsibilities, there are moments when the sadness still catches you unexpectedly.
Perhaps you have been hurt by someone you trusted.
You have tried to forgive, tried to move forward, and tried not to allow the experience to shape your future.
Yet certain conversations or situations still remind you of what happened.
Or perhaps your suffering is quieter.
You are not facing a dramatic crisis.
There is simply a weariness that has gradually accumulated through responsibilities, uncertainty, unanswered questions, or the demands of caring for others.
You know that God is good.
You believe His promises.
But sometimes you wonder whether you should be handling everything better than you are.
As Christians, we can develop expectations about how we are supposed to respond to difficulty.
We may believe that strong faith means remaining cheerful.
That trusting God means never feeling overwhelmed.
That forgiveness means never remembering the hurt.
Or that spiritual maturity means moving through grief quickly because we know the truth about eternity.
These assumptions can make difficult experiences even harder.
Not only are we carrying the original pain, but we may also begin judging ourselves for having it.
Perhaps you have thought:
I know God is faithful. Why am I still upset?
I have prayed about this. Shouldn’t I be feeling better by now?
Other people have suffered much more than I have. I shouldn’t make such a big thing of this.
If I really trusted Jesus, surely I wouldn’t feel so anxious or disappointed.
And sometimes another question quietly appears.
Is Jesus disappointed that I am struggling?
When we look at the Gospels, we discover something remarkable.
Jesus did not approach suffering people with one impersonal response.
He did not treat every difficulty as though it required the same explanation.
He did not dismiss grief, ignore injustice, or pretend that human pain was insignificant.
He responded with compassion, wisdom, truth, and authority.
Sometimes He healed.
Sometimes He corrected.
Sometimes He listened.
Sometimes He challenged the beliefs that were keeping people from understanding God.
And sometimes, before doing anything else, He wept.
One of the clearest examples is found in the account of Lazarus, Martha, and Mary.
It reveals a Saviour who knew the truth about what He was going to do, yet still entered the sorrow of those He loved.
Discover the Truth
Read John 11:17–44.
The account begins earlier in John 11, when Jesus receives news that Lazarus is seriously ill.
Lazarus lives in Bethany with his sisters, Martha and Mary.
John tells us that Jesus loved Martha, Mary, and Lazarus.
This detail is important because Jesus does not immediately travel to Bethany.
Instead, He remains where He is for two more days.
By the time He arrives, Lazarus has been in the tomb for four days.
From the perspective of the sisters, the situation is devastating.
Their brother has died.
The opportunity for healing appears to have passed.
And the One they believed could have helped was not there when they needed Him.
When Martha hears that Jesus is approaching, she goes out to meet Him.
Her first words reveal both grief and faith.
She tells Jesus that if He had been there, her brother would not have died.
But she also expresses confidence that God will give Jesus whatever He asks.
Jesus tells her that her brother will rise again.
Martha understands this in terms of the future resurrection at the last day.
Then Jesus makes an extraordinary declaration.
In John 11:25–26, He identifies Himself as the resurrection and the life.
He teaches that those who believe in Him will live even though they die, and that everyone who lives and believes in Him will never ultimately be overcome by death.
Jesus is not merely offering Martha comforting thoughts about the future.
He is revealing His own identity.
The hope of resurrection is found in Him.
He is the One who has authority over life and death.
Jesus then asks Martha whether she believes this.
Her response is a confession of faith.
She acknowledges Him as the Christ, the Son of God, who comes into the world.
Later, Mary comes to Jesus.
She falls at His feet and expresses the same sorrow Martha had voiced.
If Jesus had been there, Lazarus would not have died.
Mary is weeping.
The people who have accompanied her are also weeping.
And John tells us that Jesus is deeply moved and troubled.
The language used in this passage conveys strong emotion.
Jesus is not detached from the grief surrounding Him.
He asks where Lazarus has been laid.
Then John records two of the most memorable words in Scripture.
Jesus wept (John 11:35).
Consider the significance.
Jesus already knows what He is about to do.
He has spoken about resurrection.
He is moving towards the tomb where He will call Lazarus back to life.
Yet He weeps.
His knowledge of the coming miracle does not make Him indifferent to the sorrow of the present moment.
His authority over death does not prevent Him from expressing grief.
His confidence in the Father’s purposes does not make Him emotionally distant.
Jesus enters the reality of human suffering.
The people standing nearby recognise His love for Lazarus.
Some also question why the One who opened the eyes of a blind man could not have prevented this death.
Jesus then approaches the tomb.
He commands that the stone be removed.
Martha raises a practical concern about the condition of the body after four days.
Jesus reminds her of the relationship between believing and seeing God’s glory.
He prays aloud, acknowledging the Father and explaining that His prayer is for the benefit of those standing nearby, so that they may believe the Father sent Him.
Then He calls Lazarus out of the tomb.
And Lazarus comes out.
The miracle demonstrates Jesus’ authority over death and serves as a sign pointing towards His identity.
But we must not overlook what happened before the miracle.
Jesus spoke truth to Martha.
He received Mary’s grief.
He was deeply moved.
He wept.
And then He acted with divine authority.
His compassion and His power were not competing qualities.
They belonged together.
See the Father’s Heart
When we consider the way Jesus responded to Martha and Mary, we begin to understand something important about the heart of God.
Jesus did not tell the sisters that their grief was unnecessary because Lazarus would soon be raised.
He did not criticise them for expressing their sorrow.
He did not suggest that their tears were evidence of weak faith.
Instead, He met them in their circumstances.
With Martha, He engaged in a conversation about resurrection and belief.
With Mary, He encountered the visible reality of grief and was deeply moved.
Both women were suffering.
Both believed Jesus could have prevented their brother’s death.
Yet Jesus responded to each encounter personally.
This is consistent with the wider witness of Scripture.
Hebrews 4:14–16 describes Jesus as our great High Priest, One who can sympathise with our weaknesses because He has been tempted as we are, yet without sin.
The passage encourages believers to approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that they may receive mercy and find grace for timely help.
Jesus’ sympathy is not based upon ignorance of human suffering.
He entered our humanity.
He experienced weariness, rejection, opposition, betrayal, grief, and physical suffering.
He knows what it means to live in a world affected by sin and death.
Yet His compassion is never separated from His holiness.
He understands human weakness without sharing in sin.
He offers mercy without compromising truth.
And He invites us to approach Him rather than hide because we feel inadequate.
Consider another encounter.
In Luke 7:36–50, Jesus is dining in the home of a Pharisee named Simon when a woman known in the town as a sinner approaches Him.
She weeps at His feet, wets them with her tears, wipes them with her hair, kisses them, and anoints them with perfume.
Simon silently questions Jesus’ discernment because He allows this woman to touch Him.
Jesus responds by telling a parable about forgiveness and love.
He exposes Simon’s failure to recognise the significance of forgiveness.
He acknowledges the woman’s actions.
And He assures her that her sins are forgiven, connecting her response with faith and sending her away in peace.
Jesus does not dismiss her sin.
But neither does He join Simon in treating her as someone unworthy of mercy.
He recognises what is happening beneath the outward appearance.
In Mark 5:25–34, a woman who has suffered from bleeding for twelve years approaches Jesus in a crowd.
She has endured much under the care of physicians, spent her resources, and grown worse rather than better.
She reaches out and touches His clothing, believing she will be healed.
When Jesus asks who touched Him, she comes forward trembling and tells Him the truth.
He addresses her tenderly, acknowledges her faith, and sends her away in peace.
Again, we see compassion joined with truth.
Jesus does not treat her as an interruption.
He gives her personal attention.
These encounters remind us that the Father is not indifferent to suffering.
Jesus reveals the Father’s character.
And in Him, we see a love that notices pain without being overwhelmed by it, a holiness that does not reject those who seek mercy, and a wisdom that responds to people according to their genuine needs.
But we must also remember that not every person Jesus encountered was healed immediately, and not every suffering person in the world received a miraculous intervention during His earthly ministry.
The Gospels record particular signs that reveal who Jesus is and point towards the kingdom of God.
They are not a promise that every believer will experience the same outcome in every present circumstance.
Our confidence rests not in predicting exactly how God must act, but in knowing the character of the One to whom we come.
And the resurrection of Jesus gives us a hope that extends beyond the limitations and suffering of this present life.
Recognise the Old Pattern
When we experience pain, our thoughts can become shaped by assumptions that make the burden heavier.
One common pattern is believing that suffering means we have somehow failed spiritually.
Perhaps you have thought:
If I trusted God properly, I wouldn’t feel so upset.
You know that Scripture calls believers to trust the Lord.
You want to respond with faith.
But when grief, fear, or disappointment remains, you begin questioning whether your emotions reveal something wrong with your relationship with Him.
Consider Mary and Martha.
Both expressed sorrow.
Both questioned what might have happened if Jesus had arrived earlier.
Yet Jesus did not respond by telling them that their grief made them unworthy of His attention.
He led Martha towards a deeper understanding of who He was.
And He entered the sorrow surrounding Mary’s encounter.
Another old pattern is believing that we must hide our pain to avoid burdening others.
Perhaps you have become accustomed to saying that everything is fine.
You do not want to worry your family.
You do not want to appear negative.
And you certainly do not want people to think you lack faith.
So you keep moving.
You continue fulfilling your responsibilities.
But inwardly, you are carrying something that has never been honestly acknowledged.
Over time, this can influence the way you pray.
You begin offering God carefully worded prayers rather than bringing Him what is genuinely happening in your heart.
Yet the Psalms repeatedly demonstrate that honest expressions of sorrow, confusion, and distress can be brought before the Lord.
Psalm 13 begins with David asking how long the Lord will seem to forget him.
The psalm moves through lament towards trust.
David does not pretend that his distress is absent.
He brings it into his relationship with God.
Another pattern is assuming that God’s love can be measured by whether He prevents painful circumstances.
If God really loved me, this wouldn’t have happened.
This belief is understandable when we are hurting.
But John 11 challenges it.
John explicitly tells us that Jesus loved Martha, Mary, and Lazarus.
Yet Lazarus became ill and died.
Jesus’ love was not absent simply because the sisters experienced a devastating loss.
The passage reveals that God’s purposes were greater than what the sisters could understand at the time.
However, we should be careful not to turn this into an assumption that we can explain the purpose behind every painful event.
Scripture does not invite us to invent reasons for another person’s suffering.
Sometimes we simply do not know why something happened.
And it is better to acknowledge that limitation than to offer explanations God has not given.
A final pattern is believing that healing must always mean returning to exactly how life was before.
Sometimes people experience genuine restoration.
Relationships are repaired.
Health improves.
Circumstances change.
But other experiences leave lasting consequences.
A loved one may not return.
A relationship may not be restored.
A physical limitation may remain.
A painful memory may still need wise attention.
The restoring work of Christ is not limited to recreating our previous circumstances.
He is able to sustain us, renew our minds, form Christlike character, and lead us into hope even when life looks different from what we expected.
And ultimately, Scripture points towards the day when God will make all things new.
Renew Your Thinking
Renewing our minds does not mean teaching ourselves to ignore suffering.
It means learning to interpret our experiences through the truth God has revealed rather than allowing pain to become the final authority over what we believe.
Romans 12:2 calls believers to be transformed through the renewing of their minds.
For someone carrying grief or disappointment, this renewal may begin with recognising a familiar assumption.
Old belief: If I were spiritually stronger, I would not feel this pain.
But Jesus wept.
His grief was not a failure of faith.
He knew the Father’s purposes.
He knew what He was about to do.
Yet He entered the sorrow of the moment.
Renewed understanding: Experiencing grief does not automatically mean I have stopped trusting God.
Faith and sorrow can exist together.
A believer may genuinely trust the Lord while still feeling the weight of loss.
Old belief: I must understand why this happened before I can trust God again.
Martha and Mary did not understand the full significance of what Jesus was doing.
Their knowledge was limited.
Yet Jesus directed Martha’s attention towards His identity as the resurrection and the life.
He did not provide an exhaustive explanation of every detail.
He revealed Himself.
Renewed understanding: I can trust the character of Christ even when I do not understand every circumstance.
This does not mean refusing to ask questions.
It means recognising that unanswered questions do not erase what God has already revealed about Himself.
Old belief: My pain is too complicated to bring honestly before God.
Hebrews 4:16 invites believers to approach the throne of grace with confidence.
Psalm 62:8 encourages God’s people to pour out their hearts before Him.
The Lord does not require us to disguise our circumstances behind spiritual language.
Renewed understanding: I can approach God honestly and receive His mercy and grace in my time of need.
Old belief: If God has not changed my circumstances, He must not be caring for me.
Second Corinthians 12:7–10 records Paul’s experience of pleading with the Lord concerning a persistent affliction.
Rather than removing it, the Lord assured Paul that His grace was sufficient and that His power was made perfect in weakness.
Paul learned to depend upon Christ’s strength in circumstances he would not have chosen.
Renewed understanding: God’s sustaining grace is real even when my circumstances remain difficult.
This truth must be handled carefully.
It should never be used to discourage someone from seeking appropriate help, medical care, protection from harm, or practical support.
God’s grace does not require us to remain passive in situations where wise action is needed.
Instead, it gives us confidence that we are not abandoned as we take those steps.
As our thinking is renewed, we begin recognising that Jesus’ compassion is not dependent upon our ability to remain composed.
He does not require us to hide every tear.
He does not ask us to pretend that difficult things are easy.
He invites us to know Him in the middle of real life.
And through that relationship, our understanding of suffering, faith, and hope can gradually become more firmly grounded in truth.
Walk It Out
A practical example: When a painful memory returns
Imagine that several months ago, someone close to you said something deeply hurtful.
Perhaps they misunderstood your intentions.
Maybe they accused you of something unfairly.
Or perhaps they dismissed a concern that mattered greatly to you.
You have tried to move forward.
You have prayed about the situation.
You may even have chosen to forgive the person.
But one afternoon, something reminds you of what happened.
Perhaps you hear a similar phrase.
You pass a familiar place.
Or a conversation brings the memory back unexpectedly.
And suddenly, you feel the disappointment again.
Your first response might be frustration with yourself.
Why am I still thinking about this?
I thought I had dealt with it.
Surely if I had truly forgiven them, this wouldn’t hurt anymore.
Before long, you are carrying two burdens.
The original hurt.
And the belief that you are failing because the hurt has not completely disappeared.
How might the example of Jesus help you respond differently?
Step 1: Recognise what is happening without condemning yourself.
You have remembered something painful.
That does not automatically mean you have failed to forgive.
Forgiveness and emotional recovery are related, but they are not identical.
A person may sincerely release a desire for revenge while still needing time, wisdom, or support to process the consequences of what happened.
You might acknowledge:
That experience hurt me, and remembering it has brought some of those feelings back.
You do not need to exaggerate the experience.
But neither do you need to deny it.
Step 2: Notice the conclusion you are beginning to form.
Ask yourself:
Am I assuming that because I still feel hurt, Jesus must be disappointed in me?
Return to John 11.
Jesus did not treat grief as something shameful.
He was deeply moved by the sorrow of those around Him.
His compassion did not disappear because the sisters were struggling.
This does not mean every emotional response is automatically wise or righteous.
We may still need to examine resentment, bitterness, fear, or unhelpful patterns.
But the presence of pain itself is not proof of spiritual failure.
Step 3: Bring the situation honestly before the Lord.
You might pray:
Jesus, this memory has hurt me again. I do not want to become bitter, but I also do not want to pretend that what happened was unimportant. Please help me understand what I need to do next.
Then allow Scripture to guide your response.
Perhaps you need to reaffirm your decision to forgive.
Perhaps you need to recognise an unhealthy belief that has developed.
Perhaps there is a conversation you need to have.
Or perhaps the wisest response is to acknowledge the memory and continue your day without repeatedly revisiting it.
Step 4: Consider whether practical action is needed.
Sometimes healing involves changing how we respond to a situation.
If the relationship remains unhealthy, appropriate boundaries may be necessary.
If someone has caused serious harm, forgiveness does not require you to place yourself back into danger or pretend that trust has been restored.
If the experience continues to interfere significantly with everyday life, support from a qualified professional or trusted pastoral caregiver may be helpful.
Seeking assistance is not evidence that you lack faith.
It can be a wise response to a genuine need.
Step 5: Choose one response grounded in truth.
Instead of measuring your spiritual maturity by whether the memory still hurts, consider how you are responding to it.
Are you bringing it before God?
Are you refusing to cultivate revenge?
Are you willing to examine your thoughts?
Are you taking wise steps towards peace and restoration where possible?
These are meaningful expressions of faith.
Growth is not always measured by the complete absence of difficult feelings.
Sometimes it is seen in the way we learn to respond when those feelings arise.
A gentle practice for this week
Choose one area of disappointment, grief, or emotional weariness that you have been reluctant to acknowledge.
You do not need to revisit painful details unnecessarily.
Simply consider these questions:
- What am I carrying?
- What have I been believing about Jesus’ response to my struggle?
- What does John 11 reveal about His compassion and truth?
- What is one wise, practical step I can take today?
Your next step may be very small.
It might be allowing yourself a quiet moment to pray honestly.
It might be asking someone for help.
It might be making time for genuine rest.
It might be seeking appropriate support.
Or it might simply be choosing not to condemn yourself for experiencing a difficult emotion.
The purpose is not to force yourself to feel better immediately.
It is to begin responding to your circumstances through a clearer understanding of the heart of Jesus.
Pause and Reflect
Take a few moments to consider these questions in the light of John 11:17–44.
1. When I am hurting, what do I imagine Jesus feels towards me?
Do I picture Him as compassionate and attentive, or do I sometimes assume He is disappointed that I am struggling?
2. What stands out to me about Jesus’ responses to Martha and Mary?
How does His willingness to speak truth and enter their grief challenge my assumptions about faith and suffering?
3. Have I been treating a difficult emotion as evidence of spiritual failure?
What is the difference between honestly experiencing pain and allowing that pain to lead me into harmful beliefs or responses?
4. Is there a situation where I have been measuring God’s love by whether my circumstances changed?
How might I begin grounding my confidence in the character of Christ rather than in a particular outcome?
5. What is one practical step I can take towards responding to my present circumstances with truth, wisdom, and grace?
It may help to write down one Scripture from this article that you want to remember.
Not as a way of forcing yourself to feel differently, but as a reminder of what God has revealed.
A Prayer of Response
Heavenly Father,
Thank You for revealing Your heart through Jesus.
Thank You that You are not indifferent to the suffering of Your children.
You know the disappointments we carry, the losses we have experienced, and the situations we do not fully understand.
Nothing about our lives is hidden from You.
Lord Jesus, as I read about Your encounter with Martha and Mary, I am reminded that Your compassion is genuine.
You knew the truth about resurrection.
You knew the Father’s purposes.
Yet You still entered their sorrow.
You spoke with Martha.
You received Mary’s grief.
And You wept.
Thank You that I do not have to pretend that difficult things are easy.
I do not have to disguise every disappointment behind carefully chosen words.
And I do not have to measure my faith by whether I always feel strong.
Please help me to bring my experiences before You honestly.
Where I have allowed pain to shape false beliefs about Your character, renew my thinking through Your Word.
Where I have confused grief with spiritual failure, help me recognise the difference.
Where resentment or bitterness has begun to develop, lead me towards forgiveness and wisdom.
Where practical action is needed, give me courage to take the next step.
And where circumstances remain difficult, strengthen my confidence in Your faithfulness.
Holy Spirit, help me to recognise the grace available to me through Christ.
Teach me to respond to suffering without losing sight of truth.
Help me to receive appropriate support when I need it.
And shape my heart so that I can extend genuine compassion to others who are hurting.
Father, I do not need to understand every circumstance before I can trust Your character.
You have revealed Yourself through Your Son.
And in Him, I see compassion, holiness, truth, and love.
Thank You that my present difficulties do not have the final word.
My hope rests in Jesus Christ, the resurrection and the life.
In His name,
Amen.
Before You Continue Along the Path
Perhaps you arrived here carrying a disappointment that has been difficult to explain.
Perhaps you have been trying to remain strong for everyone around you.
Or perhaps you have been quietly judging yourself because a painful experience still affects you.
The account of Martha, Mary, and Lazarus offers something worth remembering.
Jesus did not respond to suffering with indifference.
He did not dismiss the sisters’ grief because He knew what He was about to do.
He spoke truth.
He entered their sorrow.
And He demonstrated His authority over death.
His compassion was not a substitute for truth.
And His truth was not an excuse to withhold compassion.
Both were perfectly expressed in Him.
As you continue along The Woodland Path, remember that your difficulties do not make you unworthy of approaching Jesus.
You can come honestly.
You can ask questions.
You can acknowledge grief without surrendering your trust in God.
You can take practical steps towards healing and restoration without believing that seeking help somehow diminishes your faith.
And you can rest in the assurance that the One who wept beside a tomb is also the One who declared Himself to be the resurrection and the life.
There will be moments when you do not understand what God is doing.
There may be circumstances that remain unresolved.
But you do not have to invent an explanation for every painful experience in order to know that Jesus is faithful.
He has revealed His character.
He has demonstrated His love.
And through His death and resurrection, He has given us a hope that suffering and death cannot ultimately overcome.
The heart of Jesus is tender towards those who suffer, truthful in the midst of uncertainty, and powerful enough to give us hope beyond what we can presently see.
Continue exploring The Woodland Path — Discovering the Heart of Jesus.